Lauren-o-pickle-o-cookie-o

Lauren. Just look at that face. You know the one… you can see the “I’m trouble” twinkle in her eyes. My two oldest daughters; Kellie on the left and Lauren on the right.

At 20 years old, Lauren is the drama queen, extraordinary athlete and the girl who drives the laughter from me when I am aching inside. When my heart is breaking and my thoughts are filled with, “How do I continue to cope? How do I keep myself focused and moving forward when I have one (or more) of my children spiraling out of control?

There are no depths of grief that Lauren cannot pull me from.

Me: ”The wind is howling through the windows, Lauren! I wish Mike wasn’t out of town tonight!”

Lauren: ”What would he do? Fight it off with his clipboard and stethoscope?”

The absurdity of the visual that this comment conjures just makes me howl. I am always grateful for the comic relief she brings to my life. The pendulum surely swings with this daughter of mine, from, “Lauren, will you drop soup off at Kellie’s house for me? Kellie and Nate are buried in trying to get the house ready for moving day.” Lauren’s reply, dripping with sarcasm, “I just love doing things for my fam-i-lyyyy.” Followed with the heaviest sigh that I think she may be responsible for the winds.

She can be at once incredibly thoughtful and sweet… waking me on my birthday with a giant balloon and flowers… and horribly possessed… “Ya, so what are you gonna do… ground me?” Ahhh… charming girl. Her humor surely saves her from being exiled from the house.

Then there is the colliding of her world with Kellie’s. My sweet Kellie, who entered the world with a smile and a, “Is it too early for you? Should I go back and be born a little later? I don’t mind, really.” Dear, sweet Kellie who is the brunt of Lauren’s artistic humor. Our house is filled with framed artwork as well as painted shelves and boxes which reflect Lauren’s comic view of princess Kellie.

The representation of Kellies lovely world includes a singing choir, glitter falling from rainbow filled skies when she enters a room, all the birds and animals flitting about to braid her hair, mascara her eyelashes and stitch her riding breeches. The clouds part, the sun shines and all is well in Lauren’s view of Kellie’s world. Just think “Enchanted”.

I am always in the middle of these two… “MOMMMMMMMM, I am not like that! My world isn’t perfect.” Kellie says sweetly while I remind her of the bird graveyard she has in her yard as a result of them flying into her windows, trying to come to her aid. Honestly, I’m not kidding. She will be sitting in her living room and the little, doomed birds will crash to their fate, just to be close to Kellie. I can’t help but laugh at the dynamic between Lauren and Kellie.

Oh, and while you are thinking that everyone has birds that crash into their windows, you need to know that Kellie will climb onto the roof with the unconscious fellow and place it gently on the rooftop in the hopes that “Its bird friends will come to its aid.” This is my first grade teacher daughter. There are no children luckier than the kids in her class.

Today I need to be reminded of where I find the strength and encouragement to laugh. We can’t always share our deepest pain but we can remember that if we look carefully, there is someone in our life that has a gift of bringing the sun into our world when the clouds surround us. The one whom doesn’t even know their gift, which makes it all the more valuable.

With a nickname like “Lauren-o-pickle-o-cookie-o”, maybe she had no choice in the matter.

I never forget to laugh.

© Cassie M. Ferguson, 2009, Autism Funhouse and autismfunhouse.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Cassie M. Ferguson, Autism Funhouse and autismfunhouse.com, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.